Possible rejection P2

Thanks for you response.

You are right, my nervous system has been convincing me I will die. Which has been good to identify, and take a step back.
I guess what I want out of this situation is shifting how I view myself. -As a “less than” as an “underdog” and an “imposter” etc etc.
I might have sent the message regardless whether I felt grounded and worthy or if I felt “less than”. The action might have been the same. I guess its more a practical thing, but its how I feel and think about it I guess I want to change. Below are some models I have started:

Unintentional 1:
C: Messaging in group chat
T: They notice and are repelled by my desperate energy
F: Anxious/ desperate
A: run scenarios in my head, negative self talk, ruminating, don’t sleep, talk to multiple others about it trying to get opinions/ comfort
R: I am repelled by myself

Unintentional 2:
C: Messaging in group chat
T: I need them cause I am not good enough on my own
F: Anxious/ desperate
A: Negative self talk, go through past conversations, evaluate situations, project, crowd source, scroll social media etc
R: Show up as though I am less than

Intentional 1:
C: Messaging in group chat
T: This isn’t personal, its about practicality and data
F: Grounded/ impersonal
A: Get on with my day, don’t crowd source, don’t overanalyse
R: I don’t make it mean anything about myself or my abilities

Intentional 2:
C: Messaging in group chat
T: The ball is in their court now
F: detached/neutral
A: Get on with my life, I leave it to them, I don’t ruminate/ negative self talk, don’t crowd source.
R: I leave the responsibility to them

This is where I am at with it now. Are you able to help me take it further or give me any feedback on my models please x

 

 

Answer:

Such good work here, give yourself a pat on the back. Your intentional models look good.  As you begin to put them into practice, check in with yourself.  Do they seem believable? What comes up when you think “this isn’t personal?”  When you send that ball into their court, how does it feel?

This can often be the shaky part, the messy middle.  How can you support yourself as you lean into your goals to not make it mean anything about you, and leaving the responsibility to them?

What ladder thoughts can you use between where you are and where you want to be?

One that I love is: I’m becoming a person who….