Practicing Models, Issues at Work, Dealing with Negative Thoughts

Hello. I am new and recently took the model workshop and got rattled at work this morning and thought I would practice. I apologize that this whole situation feels pretty boring and trivial. I did a Thought Download and then worked out an Unintentional Model. I think the model needs some work and there’s a lot of thoughts that came out of a small situation, so I’m not sure if its even the one I should be focusing on. Sorry for the length of the TD, but here is what I have:

TD: I knew when I picked up this shift in our other location, there would be things I didn’t know and would have to ask about and learn on the fly. My manager usually acts like its no big deal and it will be easy and people will help me. Its also an early shift, which I do not like. I usually work afternoons and evenings. So I get here and there’s a whole unfamiliar setup that I have to figure out and I do. The coaches here don’t know much about my setup so I just figure it out. I don’t know the wifi password, but I keep trying what I think is the one from the other location and it doesn’t work. I reach out to my manager and another coworker who should have the information. She tells me the correct password yet I continue to type the wrong one. I get a curt response from her confirming that she has indeed told me the right password which is the same one from the other studio which I confirm and apologize and mention that its much earlier than I am used to working. I ruminate about how this often happens where I am asked to do something I am untrained or unprepared for and instead of being treated with gratitude for picking up an unfamiliar task I wasn’t expected to do, I feel like I’m treated like a burden for not doing it correctly. I’ve been thrown in the deep end in so many jobs with no training and then treated like shit when I’m not immediately perfect. This is also a place I have emotional ties to in other ways and I’m really afraid working here is going to cause me to hate it. The communication from management has been pretty poor from the beginning and they haven’t trained me to do much, so I feel like my coworkers look down on me, but I am only following what I have been explicitly asked to do and not do. People take on too much and then get stressed out and look down on me because I am being really careful not to fill my plate too much while I manage trying out some new psychiatric medications. It’s still pretty early for me and I haven’t had any coffee or food, just THC and nicotine. I’m still surprised by how much this rattled me and how many negative thoughts about myself and others it brought up. I’ll even zoom out to how much I hate the institution of work as a whole.

C: I didn’t know the wifi password
T: My coworkers didn’t prepare me
F: Inadequate
A: Overcompensate by doing other work, think my other coworkers are looking down on me, ruminate on how poor my training was and how poor the communication is, passive aggressively mention how early it is, think about other ways I have fallen short, and other ways my manager has failed me.
R: Stewing in a lot of bad feelings while at work

Thanks for your time, I appreciate your feedback!

 

 

Answer:

 

Nice work with your TD and your go at a UM. Overall it looks well done…some feedback I can offer is on your R line (these can be tricky!) and your A line. The model shows us how our thoughts create our results, therefore, the T and the R line always have a direct connection. In your model, an R line I can offer that is more directly connected to the T with which you led is, “I look for ways in which my coworkers are underprepared and see myself as underprepared because of them.”

Can you see the difference?

Now for the A line…the first question we ask our clients specifically about the A line is, “What do you do when you feel (the feeling in the F-line)?” Almost without fail, the second question that we ask is, “What don’t you do when you feel (the feeling in the F-line)?” Can you identify what you don’t do when you feel inadequate? What thoughts, feelings or realizations come up for you after you answer that question? Where do you go from there? When you respond, title your submission, “Models, Work, Negative Ts pt. 2” so we know what you’re following up on. Nice work and thanks for bringing this to us.