Pressure in a new job

I started a new job at the beginning of September, in a new town, after a painful break-up of a long-term relationship and intense anxiety for most of the first half of 2021. I am incredibly proud of the new life that I am building and feel hopeful that it’s going to be great, but I am very exhausted and am finding it difficult not to panic about whether I will be able to handle the new job. How would you recommend approaching the situation?

 

 

Answer:

I would offer that you separate the two. First, the exhaustion that comes with a move and a break up plus starting something new is to be expected and it is a time where you will want to decide on purpose where you are spending your spoons (emotional energy). Choose what is most important and let go of the rest. Set small, doable goals. Practice self care and lots of compassion. Believe you are doing great now, not that it will be great later. Because you are.

Second, the panic about the future. Anything that is coming in the future we are making up. It’s all our imagination. Our brain is wired to look for possible dangers coming so we can avoid them. This is good with tigers but not good with whether or not we’ll be able to handle a new job. If it’s all made up, make up a story where everything turns out just right. Believe in yourself. Make a list of all the qualities you have that will support you in this transition time and beyond. Proud and hopeful are two wonderful emotions to fuel you. Please continue to use Ask a Coach and the TFC community as much as you need.