pride

I just noticed something that seems important.
It is that I take pride in how well I’m doing despite being in a shitty circumstance.

This somehow stops me from improving the situation/changing the circumstance, as if I have no longer something to be proud of, once the situation gets better. It would be nothing special anymore (I would be nothing special anymore?) if I exceeded in a circumstance that is favourable for me. It would be too easy/ordinary.
What comes to mind is the thought that an achievement is not an achievement, if it wasn’t earned. as in, if it’s not hard, its not actually a success.

Example:

C: Insomnia
T: I am doing really well despite getting very little sleep
F: pride
S: strength, I feel tall, energized
A: secretly look down on other people, when somebody mentions to me that they feel bad/tired after only one night of not sleeping well. Not (consistently) try to improve my sleep.
Any other?
R: no improvement in my sleep?

What I notice looking at this particular model is that the “T” is actually a lie. I am not doing well despite getting very little sleep in the last few years, or at least it is longer true.

I’m not sure if the “T” is a lie for other models as well though. In this example it almost seems like I need the pride to give me the energy to keep going despite the shitty C line (that I can’t seem to change?)

Thanks for your coaching.

 

 

Answer:

I could see your result as R: I believe the lies my brain tells me.  Basically you are reinforcing this belief that you are doing really well.

Keep exploring your questions. How has this served you?

Pride is an interesting emotion. There can be multiple interpretations of pride. One is truly, deeply being proud of yourself. One is that puffed up feeling that lacks substance. It’s the kind of emotion that thrives on comparison. Why do you think it’s important to your brain to put people below you so you can feel higher?