Pride pt. II

“How has this served you?”

I think the pride gives me a sense of power and control over the situation. The sleeplessness feels uncontrollable for me, because I believe I can’t change it. And yet I still “do good” and feel proud, so I can tell myself the situation has nothing on me and that I am strong(er than my circumstance).
What I ask myself though is, why don’t I change the circumstance? It might be hard and in some cases a lot of work, but (rationally) not as hard as trying to exist in a space that is not for you and where you keep have to work hard just to cope.

“Why do you think it’s important to your brain to put people below you so you can feel higher?”

Probably same as above, it gives me a sense of (fake?) control and safety. There were situations in the past were people (openly and actively) put me down and made me feel less than. So it makes me feel safe (and a little vomitty) to be able to look down on them and know that I am “stronger” and nothing bad could happen to me.

 

Answer:

 

 

There are some really important discoveries in this exploration of yourself. What strings do you want to tug on to see where they lead you?

One specific question that comes to mind is where do you truly want to be stronger in your life – is it in comparison to other people or is it elsewhere?

Give yourself a hearty hug – these realizations can be painful, but they ultimately open the doors to growth if we walk through them with love for ourselves.