Putting off tasks in a state of fear

I need to hand in my application for health insurance and am finding filling out the form intensely stressful, being undecided about what to put in and what not to put in. It’s partly because it brings back a lot of painful memories of moments in my recent past where I was very scared and felt very vulnerable and partly because I am finding it difficult to imagine the insurance person looking at some of my most difficult moments in life and judging how big of a risk I am. Additionally, even though I know that there is a cap on how much I might have to pay and I also know that they have to accept me, I worry that they are going to reject me, ask for much higher monthly payments and I will be left without health insurance. I generally struggle with situations where I feel like an authority is scrutinising me and this one feels particularly tender. My nervous system goes into panic mode and I spend a lot of energy, not always successfully, trying to calm myself down again and look at the process as the lengthy and somewhat annoying, but ultimately impersonal process that it is. I therefore keep putting off handing in the application which, ironically, keeps pushing the moment where the insurance accepts my application further into the future. How would you recommend I reframe or approach the situation?

 

 

Answer:

Notice how your thoughts about the insurance are bringing up a lot of fear, which causes you to not fill in the application, which guarantees your worst fear of not having insurance. This is just how the model works. We create what we’re afraid of so often. That is good to be aware of but sometimes we don’t need to self coach, we need to take action. Interrupt your brain that just wants to spin and get a plan in place. You already know exactly what to put on that application, you just need to do it.

Start with your result. Pick a deadline to turn it in. Give yourself a reasonable but short timeline. Things generally take much less time than we think if we just do it.

What are the actual tasks you need to do to complete it. Write those in your action line. Be specific. What feeling do you need to get those tasks done? What thought will create that feeling?  Before you start, look again at your action line. If there are any tasks that have obstacles coming up, think of a solution.  Then get going. Celebrate in the community as soon as you get this done so we can all give you a gold star! Even better, you’ll be showing your brain that you can do things even when you’re scared and that build self confidence.