Reframing heartbreak – 30 day goal pt 2

After months and months and months of crying everyday with heartbreak, feeling stuck and no good, I’ve taken first steps forward in creating a dating profile. . . I’ve never used a dating app before and I’ve no idea if it will work but I’ve set the intention and claimed the right to the space.

C. Created dating profile asking for an unconventional relationship

T. This is outrageous

F. Excitement

S. Body tingles

A. Make other decisions more easily, prioritising chores, family, rest . .

R. Feel more confident

I’m wondering what steps I can take to keep that feeling of confidence- when I get rejected for asking for something unconventional or if I can’t meet the terms that come back?

Or simply when there are challenges that come up as they always will in relationships.

 

Answer:

 

These are great questions, and good for you putting yourself out there! Congratulations!

First off, confidence comes from experience, which includes failing and learning, and having successes! Let’s come up with a plan – perhaps a hard day protocol – for how you will handle a rejection. What will you likely think? What will you likely feel? What will you do when you feel this way?

The basic question here is how will you create space for yourself to have hard thoughts and feelings, and know that this isn’t a problem – it’s part of your process?

Furthermore, I always get skeptical when people say they want to feel confident all the time. What if you didn’t need to feel confident to keep going – what if you need to embrace something a little harder? Courage perhaps?