Reframing heartbreak – pt 4

Thank you for pointing out the major difference between my two models – one didn’t allow feeling and one did!

So my R line was actually a WIN in the second model because the result was I experienced intense sadness. (Amusing to see this as a win).

It was strangely sudden and short. It suddenly stopped on it’s own, which I took to mean shutdown, but maybe it was simply that the emotion was released? It probably was 90 seconds.

As suggested, I’ve been tapping into anxiety as it rises and, yes, there is sadness behind it which I am able to allow.
The resistance I think is that I don’t want the loss to be for real. My brain keeps trying to find ways it might not be true because I feel so light and free at the thought we might find our way back to each other. The reality is that it would be difficult for all the same reasons our relationship broke down.

 

 

Answer:

 

It makes so much sense that your brain is trying to find ways to seek the pleasurable feeling and avoid the painful one. The thing we tend to overlook when we (humans) are avoiding hard feelings is that the hard things in and of themselves will not harm us. They won’t and don’t feel good, but they won’t be our demise.

What’s the worst thing that could happen if you allowed yourself to let the loss be real?