Relationship with asking for money as a freelancer

Hi, I went freelance in journalism earlier this year. And it’s been going well in many ways. But I’m taking some intentional time out of commissions to focus on another project which is a book proposal. And I also do 2 days at a magazine every week.
When I started here, they asked for my day rate – and frankly I just had no idea and made something up. I went off my previous job and just worked out what that would be. Except what I’ve realised is that freelancing is so different: you don’t have sick pay, holiday pay, or any of the stability. And also I am older now and feel like my pay should be progressing rather than stagnating. But I took a break from the industry while I went travelling, then worked for a charity for a year before going back into it as a freelancer – this contributed to feeling less confident when starting out again.
Anyway, there’s a possibility of me doing 3 days a week for them soon. And I see this as an opportunity to ask to increase my day rate. The thought terrifies me and I don’t know what I’ll do if they say no. But I have this growing resent that I’m not being paid enough at all. I started with them in april and now my confidence in my skills is well and truly back, I have more of a sense of the financial realities of freelance, and I know that if I did 3 days I’d want to increase my rate as it would cut off other forms of better paying income.
I’m scared though that they’d say no or that I’d end up having to leave. I’m not sure that makes sense though? Because I don’t think they’d cut me off for asking for more money.
But there’s something deeper I think about asking for more, and knowing my worth in that way – that I think is stopping me earning what I should be as a freelancer. I’m very aware that this will hold me back in a freelance career. I want to become someone who can ask for my worth!
The increase I’m looking for is of £70 a day. I’m worried this is too much and will sound wild to them. But equally I would love to be someone who can ask for these things.
A part of me is also scared that if they say no and call my bluff I wouldn’t be able to earn as much as this if I left.
But perhaps this could be an opportunity to step into a new version of myself as a freelancer who knows her worth, asks for it and advocates for it and isn’t scared of seeming ‘money-grabbing’.
Do you have any advice on tackling this?
Thanks so much

 

 

Answer:

What a big, barfy goal! We love it.

It’s only a bluff if you’re lying about what cards you have.  How can you use the time you have before the discussion about pay to build in some rock solid confidence in your own skills and what you bring to the table?

You also get to decide if you would stay even if they can’t pay you what you’d like.

Take some time and paint a picture of a money-grabbing freelancer that bluffs their way into more pay.  Then paint a picture of you, your values, your skills, your essence that is unique and makes you one in 8 billion. Who do you want to be?