Resentment regarding work

I have been feeling a lot of resentment towards work for a while now and i wanted to explore this further. I have been writing UM and IM’s and some things came up from this.

I believe a big part of this resentment comes from feeling drained of energy after work and not having the mental capacity to do more in my week other than work. I feel this triggers a lot within me as my mom experiences chronic fatique from her mid forties, when I was a teenager. This resulted in a lot of shifting priorities growing up as household tasks needed to be done by me and my sister instead of us just getting to be kids. I feel some resentment towards this but also a lot of compassion, as my mom gave all she could. Now I feel a lot of fear experiencing this lack of energy for even getting through a day and it makes me fearful for the future, it makes me feel like missing out on my daily life and all the thing i wish to do but feel like i don’t have the energy for. This resentment makes me ruminate on negative thoughts around work and probably drains energy as well. I feel like some days out of the week I am indeed low on energy but not always. My thoughts around this tend to be a little all or nothing thinking and I can get so stuck in this.

I feel there are some things to explore around this but mainly the resentment is something i feel is blocking me. I am nourishing myself and recharging, but it just drains so quickly as i connect this to having to recharge in order to got to work and get through the day. I would love some guidance in exploring this further.

 

Answer:

Why do you stay in your job? Why not run away to a tropical island and spend most of your time in a hammock? You could if you really wanted to. The reason we feel resentful is because we are blaming something or someone else for our choices. We blame it for how we feel as well. Staying where you are is a choice. Own it.  In your case, your job may be contributing to some physical tiredness, so what? Many people think that coming home from a day’s work tired means you should be proud of yourself. What are you making it mean? The story you are telling about needing to recharge and your mom’s illness for sure will add to your emotional tiredness. How could you tell the same story in a more empowering way?