Rewording my goal & finding focus

I’ve had irregular/no menstrual cycle for over 7 years. I put it down to the multiple contraceptives I was taking and a doctor who said I had PCOS (due to my lack of periods). In the last 9 months I’ve been off contraceptives and plan to stay this way, with the intention of letting my body rest and my cycle recover. After 6 months I’ve had 1 menstruation and it felt incredible!!! But nothing since.

My Goal:
Regulating my menstrual cycle with love and compassion

Unintentional Model:
C: My Goal: Regulating my menstrual cycle with love and compassion
T: Their are so many areas to explore, I don’t know where to start
F: Overwhelm and fear of failure
A: I don’t explore anything and distract myself with other goals I’ve placed on pause
R: My menstrual cycle doesn’t regulate

Intentional Model:
C: My Goal: Regulating my menstrual cycle with love and compassion
T: This is important to me
F: Excited, motivated, loving and compassionate
A: Explore potential problems and solutions starting with ones which feel most relevant/useful.. PCOS, low blood pressure, over exercise, food as medicine, vegan diet, estrogen imbalance, stress, sexual trauma, acupuncture & herbs, seed cycling and reaching out to experts
A: Stick to.. your morning & evening self care rituals including meditation, cycle tracking and thought work. A well as, weekly wins, restorative exercise, taking time for self and journal
R: My menstrual cycle regulates

My Questions:
1) I’m not sure if ‘Regulating’ my cycle with love and compassion is the right word. It feels slightly heavy, pressuring and unachievable. Instead, I’ve tried replacing it with ‘supporting’ and ‘nurturing’ but they feel too loose and lack drive. Perhaps you can suggest another word or way to reframe it, please?
2) I’m motivated to keep in the Intentional Model, however, it feels high on the ladder. I’m not really sure what ‘feels most relevant/useful’ to me right now. Perhaps I should choose 3 areas (rocks) to focus on? Or do you have any recommendations, please?

Thank you!! <3

 

Answer:

Let’s start with your models. These are good models. Here are some alternative results to try on and see what you think.

For the UIM, what do you think about R: I don’t get myself started?

Notice how when you think you think you don’t know where to start, you don’t try anything. Some of this may be the fear of failing. It would be good to look at what that means to you. What would you define as failure? If something “failed” what would you make it mean?

If something you try does not change regulate your cycle, that is still good information. Knowing what is not affecting it may be considered as valuable as what is affecting your cycle. Thoughts?

For the IM, how about R: I make myself important?
Notice how you are exploring for answers and taking care of yourself.

With that in mind, let’s take a look at your questions. It is so good that you recognize how these words feel to you when you consider your goal. Start by thinking about what are you trying to do in your intentional model? You use the word “exploring”. Other words to consider based on your models are “learning”, “understanding”. What word feels right to you?

In regards to your second question, if you are referring to your action steps, then start anywhere. Wherever you think you should start will be the right answer for you. If you have evaluated what you think of failure, and clarify your goal, it may be easier to begin.