Saying what’s not been said before

Coaches, I’ve been shying away from being coach recently. I have given myself some room and time to step back and try to observe how being in TFC has impacted my life and it’s been lovely to watch what I apply here there and everywhere. So I want to bring some of my thoughts to you. And something that keeps coming up and I keep pushing it away. Before Covid I lived in Australia for 2 years I was 21 at the time I worked at rich Steign restaurant which was very fast pace and alot of pressure.
The hotel manager then granted a sponsorship along with my partner and we lived and worked in a restaurant, and never really got to travel Australia or see and do the things I wanted to. Long story short when Covid happened we were given a choice by our hotel manager. You ever leave Australia and give up the visa and never return or you stay and carry on with your lives and this opportunity you’ve been given. It was a sour dilemma and hate how we were treated through the process. The mental impact this has had on my life has felt like something has nagged at me for the past 4 years because the final decision made was to return to the UK to be with my family as no one knew what was going to happen. I’ve felt heart broken ever since. Anytime someone mentions Australia I get angry and resent it. I was younger when I was there and my mental health was on a down ward spiral and I didn’t recognise the depression with in me nor did my friends but my mum at home could see it she knew it. Yet I worked 60 hour weeks exhausted not knowing I had Pmdd which I now do years later which explains so much. And now I have come to a another challenge in my life where my sister is going to Australia at the end of this year and my thoughts are all over the place, it make me angry to remembering what that place had done to me how I left and was striped with the opportunity of ever retuning and now my sister my best friend is going there and I can visit and there is a huge part of me which is jealous and I think she’ll never have to live through what I did. And I’m heart broken because she’s off for a year and I won’t get to see her and I’ll see al these photos or have phone calls with her and know where she is and always remember.

I’ve never written this or shared this so deeply with anyone before. And I don’t want to hold back on what I just feel. I do feel really sad. I’ve never told my sister how I feel as she’s going regardless but I don’t know how to approach the future with all these raw thoughts and feeling

Thank you coaches ❤️

 

 

Answer:

 

What I am hearing coming through in this post is actually grief. Anger is a natural part of the grieving process, and it sounds like this is where you are. What do you think about this?

Secondly, I want to explore approaching the future with you first. What if you don’t have to know how to approach the future with these raw thoughts and feelings? If all you had to do was meet yourself where you are with your thoughts and feelings now – today, this week – what would that mean for you? What would it allow you to do? What would it allow you to STOP doing? And…can you do this with love for yourself first?

Notice what arises (any thoughts or feelings) when you consider this idea and come back to us again. We’re so happy you decided to write in.