Self coaching holiday abroad without dog

Hello,
I seem to be stuck. For 7 years I’ve spent holidays in the UK because I have a dog and like to take her with me. However I’m getting bored of UK holidays and would like to go abroad but the thought of leaving my dog prevents me from following this through. Using the models I’ve found what might be going on at a deeper level, but this knowledge still doesn’t help change my behaviour and feelings.

C: Going on holiday
T: I can’t go without the dog.
F: confused.
A: research lots of different holidays in UK and aboard.
R: Go on UK holidays where can take the dog.

IM:
T: it is safe to go on holiday without the dog.
F: relief
A: look for holidays aboard
R: Go on holiday aboard without the dog.

I can’t believe my T. so tried a bridging T: I’m open to believing its safe to go on holiday without the dog. But this still leaves a sick feeling in my stomach and strong resistance.
I’m really stuck between wanting to go aboard but not wanting to leave the dog. i’ve started to look at taking the dog to France but this would involve a rabies jab, so don’t want to subject her to this.
The safety I’ve realised is something I developed regarding my childhood dog, which provided safety for me. Even this connection to what I think is the underlying reason for my reluctance to leave my dog, does not help me feel positive about booking a holiday aboard with my partner and not my dog. I hope you can help. Thanks.

 

Answer:

Are you afraid the dog won’t be safe if you leave them or that you won’t feel safe without your furry friend? Either way, you can figure this out using the same method: stop expecting it to feel 100% good to travel abroad without your dog. Especially for the first time. Expect that you’ll have a bit of a sick feeling in your stomach. This isn’t a problem.

Whenever we make a goal, our brain will give us many reasons why it won’t work. When we know this, we can anticipate it and then overcome it. What obstacles is your brain telling you are in the way of a nice holiday abroad? Write them all down.

For each obstacle, think of a strategy that will help you.  For example: Obstacle-I don’t feel safe booking the trip Strategy-take action anyway, take care of my nervous sytem, have my partner book it.

Sometime the way to get unstuck is just to do the thing and then show your brain you didn’t die. You might even find that there is an excitement that can come out once you’ve made the decision and started moving forward. There’s no right thing to do. You just get to decide where you want to vacation. If you want to go abroad, believe that you can and get moving. Start with your first step.

C: going on holiday

T: What do you want to think to create this feeling?

F: What would you want to feel to take this action?

A: self coach, take care of nervous sytem, implement my strategies, what else do  you need to do or not do? Break it down into small doable goals like: walk to the computer, open hotel website, book room, etc.

R: What is the one next step you want to complete for your trip?

The autumn workshop on decision making could be really helpful as well. Please bring back any questions or models for more coaching.