self-sabotage expanding my business

I´m working on resolving my self-sabotage re expanding my business.

C: I have been working hard to be in a position where my client suggests his global suppliers to work with me. Now they do want to recommend me to their suppliers to work with me. All I need to do now is provide technical quality criteria on what they have to deliver and a list of data.
T: I´m not sure I know exactly what I´m doing. What if I´m making mistakes. What if I´m way over my head and exposing myself too much.
F: anxiety, fear
S: knot in my solar plexus, heavyness in my head and legs, fluttering in my stomach
A: I procrastinate on delivering these quality criteria and the list. I forgot a very important meeting in a) the preparation and b) the actual meeting date and time.
R: I´m compromising the great position I had worked hard to get in to be recommended to other companies which would be ideal clients for me. I´m moving backwards in the relationship with my client. This is harming me, not only re potential new clients but also re the trust and respect from the current client.

How do I change this harmful behaviour?
Should I apologize and explain?
How can I maintain confident and follow through on goals I worked hard to “almost complete” and not sabotage all of that in the last moments?

 

Answer:

 

This sounds like a situation that you are really feeling in all the ways. There are a lot of questions and fear that are coming through. Let’s start to unpack this by taking a deep breath. We’ve got you.

First thing is first. Let’s simplify the C and the T lines. Try this out:
C: Client said they want to recommend me to other suppliers
T: I’m not sure I know exactly what I’m doing (questions in the T line – especially “What if” questions will often lead to murky results – keep the T’s to statements)
F: Fear
S: knot in my solar plexus, heavyness in my head and legs, fluttering in my stomach
A: I procrastinate on delivering these quality criteria and the list. I forgot a very important meeting in a) the preparation and b) the actual meeting date and time.
R: I give myself evidence that I don’t know what I’m doing

Notice what comes up for you when you read this iteration of the model.

As for your questions, particularly the one about maintaining confidence, what would maintaining confidence and not sabotaging look like?

Confidence comes after we take action – it’s something we build for ourselves. Courage is usually what comes before confidence.