I have been reviewing and editing this autumn, and have started to make some decisions which I haven’t taken action on previously but feel ready to take messy imperfect action now. A long term goal for me has to been to set up my own business and work for myself. I began this journey almost two years ago now and feel like it has been a half hearted attempt even though this is something I really want. I have been lucky to work with a few clients on an ongoing basis which has taken up much of my time. I have learnt a lot during this time and it’s felt like a safe way to start out. Now I would like to find different clients which means I spend a greater amount of time working in my ‘zone of genius’. Nine months ago I negotiated different rates and hours to free up more time to find myself more clients and more interesting work, except I haven’t. So now my decision is to do just that and get on and do it without thinking too much about it. I overthink everything! My brief with this client has been to set up a HR function, train and develop them, and work with the leaders to help them future proof their business. The culture is really challenging and as a consequence one of the team has resigned. This has left me feelings of guilt, imposter syndrome, and not enoughness that I haven’t created the level change I set out to, although I am working through this and have caught my brain and asked it ‘why is this not true?’ and I know I have made good progress. I’m starting to realise my standards for working relationships and behaviours are really not aligned with the leaders of this business. The expectation from my client is that I recruit and in the short term cover all the work which will require more of my time. This has come at a time when I really wanted to press play on moving on to something more interesting, expansive, and aligned with my values. I’m not sure what my question is! I want to navigate this in a professional way to be fair to my client whilst I honour myself and put my own desires first – how do I go about this? I want to prevent myself from defaulting to people pleaser/comfort zone and giving my client all my time which will leave me with no time to get out in the world and be me.
Answer:
How exciting to be ready to move forward in your goal. You have a lot of reasons why you think you haven’t done this before but I would offer one you may not have seen yet, which is your beliefs about time. How much time do you really need to show up for your client AND work on your own business? What are your beliefs about time? Get curious.
When we tie value to hours, we often get stuck because we all have 24 hours in a day and our brain wants to tell us it’s not enough. What if you can do exactly what you want to do in less time than you think it takes? It looks like your desire is to be able to do both client work and your business right now. Think about the future version of you who has totally figured this out. This transition period is a chapter in their story. How do you want to tell it? As you imagine them, build an intentional model where you can have any result you want, and you can do it without burning out from working unsustainable hours, because you can. Do you believe that? Ask you brain to show you how this is possible and see what comes up.
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