Sensitive to mornings

I could really use coaching on a recurring thought model that occurs nearly every morning for the past year.

We’re in the process of deciding whether or not to grow our family. We have the most delicious 5 year old who I adore endlessly and enjoy 95% of every day.

Regardless of whether we are going through a period of trying actively or not I wake up every morning with automatic thought of “If I had another child right at this moment how would I feel? I wouldn’t have slept this well/I would have slept even worse, so how could I possibly manage?”
I have good sleep habits but I am so sensitive to poor sleep (caused by my dear son being sick or waking through the night).
it’s such a negative statement and I’m trying to be kind to myself but I’m getting really frustrated with myself for 1. Being unable to just wake up and just BE without bombarding myself with “what-ifs” and 2. Preemptively burdening myself with the idea that I can’t handle things.

If I was to put this in a thought model I think it would look like this:

C: I wake up in the morning
T: I’m tired
F: Not being good enough
A: Ruminate, bombarding myself with thoughts, can’t stop thinking
R: I feel even more tired less equipped to have more kids

Can you please help me with a more intentional model?

Answer:

I actually would like to suggest this unintentional model first…and this is just a guess, so let me know how it lands
C: I wake up in the morning and think, “I’m tired.”
T: I couldn’t possibly manage having another child
F: Not being good enough
A: Ruminate, bombard myself with negative thoughts, can’t stop thinking
R: I can’t manage myself in this moment
An intentional model’s purpose isn’t actually to jump into a better feeling head space all the time (although it feels good to feel good…). An intentional model is a tool to help us think, feel and do something on purpose (aka, decisively). How do you want to feel about waking up in the morning and thinking, “I’m tired”? Compassion? Motivation? Curious? Angry? Dismissive? Sad? What could you think to feel that way? What might you do and not do if you felt the way you wanted to feel? What result would those actions create for you and how is that connected to your T? Come back to us with a follow up submission titled, “Sensitive to mornings pt. 2”.