Setting standards for friendships

Recently, I´ve been having two different conflicts with two friends and this has been rattling me quite a lot. The conflicts were not open, but it was very clear that something was not right. First, I wanted to discuss and solve the issue, but then I realized, there was such a gap in core values at the centre of it that I could not even figure out where to start.
So instead of discussing anything with these friends, I realized that I have certain needs in friendship that are truly important to me and that I´m not willing to compromise. As a result, I have already distanced myself from both and while I miss the good times we had, friends, I actually don´t miss how our friendship had evolved or these two personalities.
In one case, the core issue was dishonest communication and dishonesty in general, pretending things were x when they are actually y plus some gaslighting and boycotting. What should I expect from a conversation about that with this person? I don´t want people in my life who act like that in general and who treat me with dishonesty and boycotts.
In the other case, the friend turned out to gossip a lot, talks bad about others, and then hangs out with them as if nothing ever happened. Therefore, I don´t trust her anymore and I don´t want to spend my time with her anymore, because I feel like I really should not share anything personal or relevant to me. Again a case of – if I had a conversation – where would I start and could I possibly ever arrive at a place where I would be happy with that friend again? I don’t think so.
Friendships are really important to me and I value honesty, mutual respect and tolerance of differences, and enjoying ordinary things or activities together. It really matters to me to feel like I can just be myself and the other person as well. Deep conversations about stuff that matters to both are important, as is not having to talk all the time. The worst thing is when there is a lack of trust, gossip, dishonesty, boring shallow topics, and having to be careful a) what to say and b) how to say it, and having to have the same preferences as the other person. I´m just not into this kind of game and to me, this feels like a waste of time and energy.
If you could provide some insights, that would be great.

Answer:

What do you think is the problem you want help with here? It sounds like you made some decisions based on your values and you took the action you wanted in order to create a result. What wins do you notice in this process?

What else are you feeling now? What is like feeling rattled? What is it telling you? How can we support you?