Shame about where I am

Hi,
This links to a recent ask a coach on shame around how much i earned in my first year of freelancing… but I also feel ashamed about not having more clients by now. I have a main one that I’ve been steadily working for 2 days a week the past year. But then the rest of the commissions I’ve done have been ad hoc. And although I did lots initially in the first 6 months, this was toned down the latter part of the year. And so I’ve only done a few bits here and there.
I feel some shame and judgement about where i am now, even though I know I had my reasons (eg pausing things while working on a book proposal last year and choosing to do this then because i had redundancy money to use for it – and loved the idea of putting it to use that way).
I’m embarrassed not to have more clients yet! And not to be further on from where I am.
But what i want to is to close the last year and draw a line under it and feel proud of how far i came and see the positives.
Any tips on overcoming those mental barriers?
Many thanks

 

Answer:

Why do you feel embarrassed by not having more clients yet? Get compassionately curious about this. Why does the part of you that’s embarrassed have to say about that? Can you hold space for it? Notice how the part of you that’s compassionately curious and creating the space wants to respond. What do you want to say in response?