Shame and lack of confidence pt. 2

Hey, I came back for more:) Thank you for the help with my model, I thought about it and adjusted the Unintentional and Intentional models. I added the new sentences in between **

Unintentional
C: Playing badminton in a team.
T: I am bad at sports.
F: Shame.
A: I make excuses not to go to badminton. When I am there, I tend to excuse myself that I am still a beginner and I am bad at sports. I avoid playing with the more advanced players (even though this is a good way to learn). I say sorry after each time I make a mistake or lose the shuttle. I leave the training earlier saying that I am tired and cannot continue (which is a lie).
*R: I stay in the belief that I’m bad at sports because I don’t give myself the opportunity to see a change.*

Intentional
C: Playing badminton in a team
*T: I can play badminton.*
*F: Discomfort *
A: Continue to train. Be courageous and go ask the more advanced players if you can play with them. Practice more often. Accept that you make mistakes. I make mistakes. Do not care what other people think of you.
*R: I give myself the opportunity to play and allow myself to feel ‘ the discomfort’ that comes with learning and being a beginner. *

I went for your suggestion with the discomfort because a lot of the time I do not allow myself to feel ‘ less positive’ feelings. I grew up in the wrong belief that I always need to search for happy feelings and vibes and ignore the ‘bad’ ones. So I chose for my Intentional model to feel discomfort as this is how it feels when I play sometimes. Discomfort that I am getting no better at that very moment, that I missed a good shuttle or that I lost. But it should be temporary discomfort. So I changed the Results as well. Thanks for your help and if you have more tips about the adjusted model, would love to hear them.

 

Answer:

Such a great model! I love that you are electing to let your self feel uncomfortable in a new situation. When you see this modeled out and what it might allow for you to experience when you show up to practice, how do you feel? What comes up for you? Title the next submission Sports and Shame Part 3. We’re looking forward to hearing how this intentional model changes your approach to and experience of the sport.