Shoulding vs. self-care

Hi coaches, I’d like to get some coaching around a topic that occurred yesterday.
I have Borderline personality disorder, and one symptom is that my brain anticipates rejection in specific situations very strongly.
The specific situation yesterday was: I’m an assistant at university (I quit- my last day will be in February), and my students made a Christmas party yesterday.
This group is VERY triggering for me; there are lots of thoughts and feelings about rejection coming up when I’m with them.
So I decided I didn’t want to go there because I didn’t want to be in that situation.
My doubtful thoughts are: you should confront yourself with this situation to learn that they won’t reject you. And: you shouldn’t cut yourself off from being surrounded by people. You may have a fantastic evening and feel lots of connecting energy. You shouldn’t avoid meeting people just because you are afraid of rejection.
There are many situations where I prefer NOT to meet people when I have the opportunity. And I’m not sure when it’s an accepting act of self-care and when I’m cutting myself off from experiencing connection and love.

 

 

Answer:

That is something you get to decide. It is truly that simple. You get to decide if you like your reasons for going or not going to events. Then you get to decide if it was self-care.

What if love and connection are abundant everywhere and you can create as much as you want no matter how you spend your time?

What if you deepened your trust in yourself by builiding connection and love with you? Even the part of you that’s afraid of rejection. It’s all worthy of love.

What do you think?