Situation at horse stable

Hello, I’ve already submitted a few questions relating to this but some experiences at the weekend have prompted me to submit another question. The atmosphere can be really nice, and it can be quite challenging depending on who’s there. The dynamics can also change quite easily depending on which persons are there together at the same time. For example, yesterday, I came back after my session and talked very nicely to another person. Then, my horse started to paw the ground and the other person suddenly lost their temper and then turned to two other people who were sitting around the corner and started to talk about it and about me behind my back (something like ‘this happened because she (referring to me) and the other two riders don’t have the same rules), which I found really difficult as I felt treated in a very condescending way. I just ignored it in that moment. Particularly that person often treats me differently when other persons are around, and when we’re alone she’s quite nice. There are other people who I find challenging, because they can be nit-picky or passive-aggressive depending on their mood.

There are some people who I find really pleasant, they let others do their thing, it’s easy to talk to them, etc. However, there are some people who I find really challenging and I notice that my body reacts strongly to them. I go there because I really like spending time with my horse. But I notice that I spend a lot of time thinking about the overall atmosphere / situation which takes the lightness away which I always associated with going horse-riding.

I can endure quite a lot but in another context (nothing to do with horses) I have made the plan to address things faster (in a calm and friendly way). Maybe that’s something I could also apply here. I would appreciate your feedback!

 

 

Answer:

 

Being a part of a community can be challenging sometimes – and you’re in a unique microcosm of community at the stable! When we’re in settings or groups where people have different opinions, ideas, or thoughts about something is done (whether that’s a project, rules, methods of instruction, etc.), we can create the opportunity to foster a gracious space where it feels safe to disagree, communicate, and learn. Think about those words, ‘gracious space’, for a minute and what they mean to you. Can you imagine confronting these comments in the calm, friendly, quick way you’re imagining and doing it in a way that promotes safety? What would the quick, calm and friendly approach to addressing the comments you hear look like in the context of the stable? What would you seek to do in addressing these comments in this way?