Speaking up and out = panic state and self hatred – Part 3

Hey coach, yeah… it is a mess and it certainly felt a mess while I was trying to do it!

So are you suggesting to change the C line from “I’ve drafted a message to our neighbourhood to inform about more shit the landowner is doing” towards something more neutral/ without opinion? If so, what about this option 1: “I’ve drafted a message to our neighbourhood chat about the Landowner”, or option 2: “I’ve drafted a message to our neighbourhood chat”

About the list of thoughts, to answer your questions:
– “How often do you find yourself thinking this way about yourself?”: Perhaps monthly, or every 2 months and it will last several days or a week. Variable on circumstance and how I am at the time of that circumstance.
– “What other situations do these come up in?”: When I interpret people’s reactions of things (not just on chats like in this example, but on a call or email or face to face).
– “Why do you think that is? Be compassionate and curious as you explore.” OKAY. Good to remind me to be compassionate and curious!!! I reckon it is because I feel I don’t trust people to be honest about what they actually think or feel, so I have to do overdrive work of interpretation in order to not dig myself into a hole and people blow up at me seemingly randomly down the line. Another reason I think can be is I feel most comfortable and grounded in clarity and order, so when things aren’t communicated clearly or there is an absence of an answer, I can feel uncomfortable, worried and go into that same overdrive interpretation of all the What It Could Be’s (and they are all awful)

Thanks coach!

 

 

Answer:

 

You nailed it! It could even be as simple as this: Wrote words to group titled, “____ Neighborhood Chat.” Try it out with as neutral language as possible and see what kind of C line you come up with.

It makes so much sense that these sorts of thoughts about yourself show up in different circumstances, and what I’m seeing is that it comes down to your brain running away with you when you have a sense that something isn’t clear or answered completely. The What It Could Be’s are so exhausting, and yes, AWFUL. When you start to notice that you feel uncomfortable, and worried and begin down the path of the What It Could Be’s, what is it signaling to you about what you might need to give yourself at that moment? How can you offer yourself some compassion in that space?