Spending money on myself

I am currently living under my parents roof, but dreading every moment of it.
They are both retired and are home 24/7 like I am as I work remotely from home. I do not get any alone time at the house and I leave the house if things are too much for me.
It’s been almost 3 years and it’s been detrimental to my mental and physical health.

I thought about getting an airbnb for a month to get a breather and my initial thought was no, I can handle another 2 months of this in order to save money. (I am moving in 2 months)
But another thought of mine is: I want to invest in my mental/physical health.
I have a minor surgery scheduled that is not totally necessary but would be nice if I got it.

So there’s three options I’ve come up with:
1. Rent an airbnb + do the surgery
2. Rent an airbnb and not do the surgery
3. Stay with parents and do the surgery

Models on each option:
C: 1. Rent an airbnb + do the surgery
T: That’s a lot of money to be spending on myself
F: Fear, Lack, not worthy of spending that much on myself
A: Freeze, overthink, sit in silence, not get anything done
R: Unable to make the decision

C: 2. Rent an airbnb and not do the surgery
T: Money wise, I can invest that much but I actually want to do the surgery
F: sad I don’t feel worthy enough to go with the option 1
A: excited to get away from parents! overthink about when will I do the surgery?
What if I don’t do the surgery and my health gets worse?
R: Save money but worried about my future health

C: 3. Stay with parents and do the surgery
T: Every day is going to be a battle
F: heaviness in my chest
A: dreading every day, snap at my parents, eat sugar to make me feel better
R: not be present and only living in the future of when I’ll move out

To be honest, I really want to go with option 1 but I do not feel worthy enough to take action on it.
Would love to be coached around this.

 

Answer:

The only reason you need to do something is because you want to. Celebrate you for identifying what you truly want. That’s a huge step!  Even when we have thought work and we know that circumstances don’t create how we feel, we’re still adults who get make our own choices about where we live.

If you believed that you could do the surgery and an airbnb and everything was going to work out just fine financially, what would you get to feel? Really see yourself there, alone, working, recovering. See your future home and future health.  See your relationship with your parents better than ever. Whatever you truly want, imagine it.

You can create that for you.  You can feel scared and unworthy and do it anyway. You just decide and you move forward.

Fill in this intentional model and see what comes up for you.

C: Rent airbnb + do the surgery

T: I want that

F: ?

A: keep the surgery appointment, choose and airbnb, what else would you do? What would you not do?

R: I get what I want.