Spring extravaganza

Hi!

I love how I feel in my spring. But at the same time it always is a very difficult period for me.
From the moment I start bleeding, I get a rush of sexual desire through my body and I feel like I NEED to sleep with someone. This has in almost every spring resulted in most of the time, going out, drinking and me ending up sleeping with one of my ex partners or people I’ve slept with before.
Even though, I know that these people are not the people I actually would want to sleep with. However this desire (for sex, being held, emotional connection, fun) is so strong in this moment in my cycle that I can’t find the courage not to go with this feeling.
And every spring, it costs me sooooo much energy to say no, to tell myself not to text them, sleep with them or accept their invitations, because my body wants to but afterwards I feel broken and angry and depleted because I’ve given so much of my energy to someone whom I don’t actually want to spend time with, but I just have never found a romantic partner whom I felt I wanted to actually spend time with for who that person was/is as a human being rather than an object to fullfill my needs and desires.
I just don’t know how to overcome or deal with this, because saying no takes so much energy and headspace, but saying yes feels wrong and disappointing.

Answer:

I like to think about changing engrained patterns like I think about walking through the mountains without a trail – it’s challenging and it takes a lot more energy than walking on the trail to a familiar destination. It seems like the result you create when you end up texting the people you don’t want to, is that you end up having to hold yourself through an emotional disconnect, and you don’t have fun. When you are saying no, what are you also saying yes to? What comes up for you when you consider this? When you respond, title your post, “Spring Extravaganza part 2”.