Spring Forwards Goal, Bricks, Intentional Model & the thought to have to do MORE (perfectionism)

I wanted to bring my Spring Forwards goal, my bricks and the intentional model I came up with to get coached on. I had stuff before that I wanted to bring to Ask A Coach, but I found it hard to do because of certain thoughts. Then I realized that that was exactly why I was also struggling to decide on my goal and my bricks. So I have tried to come up with an unintentional model to get to the loudest of those “certain thoughts”.

Unintentional Model
C – Setting a goal is bringing up thoughts and I want to ask for support via Ask A Coach.
T – Before bringing my thoughts to Ask A Coach I have to put more work in (do another thought download, write down all the models that I can think of, think about it more by myself, explore all the options).
F – Unsure
A – Ruminate, not submitting my question, not starting to write my question, not deciding, trying to find other things I have to do and doing that instead
R – I’m not getting the coaching I want and need.

I came up with the following key intentional model relating to my Spring Forwards goal.
C – Goal of getting my energy levels up.
T – I honour my physical and emotional needs.
F – Loving
A – Get to know myself better, with love, go to bed early, get enough sleep, do things that I love to do and that bring me joy, spend some alone time every day, exercise (running & yoga) and notice how that makes me feel
R – My energy levels are up.

My goal is to improve my energy levels.
My rocks are:
1. Go to bed on time.
2. Carve out time and plan for exercise.
3. Go to dance class every week.

After writing down my Intentional Model, my goal and my rocks the thought that comes up is that I’m unsure if this is “enough” to reach my goal and get the result that I want. At the same time, I’m very much aware of my perfectionist thinking, about the result I envision and the steps to get there.

I always feel like I must be better, do more. But maybe my action should be to do less, worry less and save my energy for other stuff. 😊 The longer I think about it all, the more confused I get! I’m very much looking forward to the coaching and to keep working on this.

 

Answer:

First off, good job just getting here! Showing up is half the battle sometimes, and you don’t need to do it perfectly on our behalf. We’re happy you came exactly the way you are.

Secondly, the parallel that I see in the UM about coming to AAC and your thoughts about your rocks is “I haven’t done/this won’t be enough”. I want to also point out to you that you selected these for some specific reasons. Remind yourself of those reasons.

Right now, you’re in scientist mode. You’ve made an educated guess that these three powerful things will help you achieve your goals. And since you’re a scientist of your life, you get to see how your hypothesis works out through reflection. What if doing less is the way to achieve this result?
Consistently checking in about what you’re experiencing will tell you whether or not the three rocks you’ve selected are contributing to you meeting your goal. If one isn’t working, you get to exchange that rock and try again with a new one.

Create a list of questions to answer that pertain directly to your rocks and your goal, decide how often you will answer them, and when you’ll assess whether your selected rocks are doing the job. The toughest part of this work might be recognizing that something isn’t working and the Ts and Fs that your brain will default to. How can you set yourself up in your reflection to be compassionate and gentle with yourself if that happens?

Come back for more coaching when you’re ready.