Spring Goal Coaching

Dear Coach

A lot came up in answering the questions of the Spring Goal Workshop and I first thought I wanted to go for a tangible outer goal when I soon realized that no matter what I do at the moment, I‘m not really enjoying myself whilst I‘m in the process.

I feel pressured, like I‘m not doing enough and that I should be doing something else than what I decided to do instead. I have a long list of to do‘s and want to’s but my time and energy are limited. I have two very young kids and I am the primary caretaker so I’m responding to their needs most of the time. I often have to interrupt whatever I‘m doing so it feels like I have all these unfinished things which is really frustrating. At the same time I feel really guilty towards my children for not being present with them because then my thoughts are scattered and all over the place.

I can notice I’m not always seeing my work and worth in my role as a mother and I am expecting too much of myself at the same time.I‘m focusing on what is missing and what is going wrong and there is no joy in that. But I keep falling into this pattern or model.

So I decided I want my goal to be something along the lines of :

creating space and softness in myself and experience joy in the present.

I‘m not sure how to find peace with the fact that I cannot do all I want at once. I’m not sure about what to do with the fear I have about never getting to live out my vision.

I can see I‘m creating a feeling of „not enoughness“ so one of the rocks could be something that helps me bring back the focus to all that I‘m doing well. (Celebrating, gratitude list, telling myself I‘m enough)

Another one could be a practice to help me calm down and bring me back to what is important to me.

Another one could be weeding out some to do‘s and unhelpful thoughts.

But I can see the challenge in doing so without making it into another To Do…

Can you help me get more clarity into this?

Many thanks!

Answer:

Thank you for this question. You’re not alone in noticing this pattern, especially with young children as part of your circumstance. I would offer that you give yourself some love and look for the wins you are having, no matter how small. Then, keep noticing and exploring that part of you that thinks you’ll never get to live out your vision. Is it true? Is it useful? How could you turn this around to be something that serves you? Who would you be without this thought? How would you move forward in your goal if you did not have this thought?

It looks like you’ve got a great start on your goal and rocks. If it’s feeling a little unclear, try brainstorming some more specific goals that might be fun for you as you create space and softness and joy in the present. Remember that this is a journey and a process. There’s no wrong way to do it. Let us know what you come up with and any coaching you’d like.