Struggling with someone’s view of me Part 5

Heya, thanks 🙂

The ladder thoughts, and what i like about them, and if i have a favourite:

-I can spend my energy and time on other things than trying to understand: I like that it is a focus on what i’m using my energy for here and now, and the final thought that it leads to is great (I don’t need to understand). !!!favourite!!!!
-There are people who like me and see me as I see me: I dislike this one. It feels super subjective and open to being dissected and refuted by myself.
-So what if this or that?: I also dislike this one – trust me, i will give the so what answer! But i guess the good thing is that after multiple ‘and so what’ to each answer, shows that it really will be okay in the end, even a worse case scenario.
-What is the best that could happen? – i like this one, hopeful idea and avoids a doom spiral.
-It’s not my responsibility to change their mind – This one i feel is golden. It ties in well with the energy one above. It just distances me from other people’s decisions. !!!favourite!!!!

” how can you start to call on these ladder thoughts when you need them most? ” – tell me friend of these favourite thoughts, because they hear my struggles and can help me guide through them with this. I could put it up on my wall? not sure what actually would work or help.

“Consider the road your brain goes down on autopilot” – not sure how to do this… i’m usually in mass panic mode in my head and depletion mode physically

thanks coach!

 

 

Answer:

It’s so powerful even to recognize that when you’re in a panic, you go back on autopilot! That’s what we do as humans. How can you love yourself in these moments and after? What if you could thank your brain for doing it’s job AND be open to making shifts in your default patterns? First, you can add in some other modalities that help you when you’re activated. Tend to your nervous system. Then you can practice shifting your thoughts and reactions.

Look back at what has already shifted.  Sometimes it’s harder to see but look for things you don’t think and feel anymore in your relationship with this person. This is so powerful. The absence of thoughts/feelings that we used to struggle with and spend a lot of energy on is a huge win.  You’re right on track.