Support with a model

I just went to the sauna, which was the first time in a while that I really looked at and sat with my body in a bikini. When I looked down at my thighs, I was very sure that I must have gained weight.
I haven’t exercised as much as I typically do over the past approx. two weeks and it is typical for my mind to tell me that I probably have gained weight, whereas when I’m in a phase of working out a lot I perceive my body very differently.
(I have a history of eating disorders and body image issues.)

While I sat there in the steam room, I tried a few tools, namely making a model, and using some of the exercises Victoria Albina taught in the Somatics Workshop (the one where you cross your hands and squeeze body parts of the opposite body half and the ‘this is MY xyz’ one – which really helped me get out of my brain and into my body a bit and to be – quite literally – more in touch with it).
I realized that I could use some help with my model.

Unintentional model:
Of course, my brain wanted to tell me that the C-line is ‘I have gained weight’. However, that’s not a fact – I have no idea whether I’ve really gained weight, I just perceived it that way.
So C’ I sit in the steam room in my bikini and look at my thighs.
T: I seem to have gained weight – this means I’m worth less as a person.
F: Disgusted
A: Nervous system is activated, I would like to run away from myself. I keep looking at my thighs and keep assessing whether I really have gained weight.
R: I don’t enjoy the sauna because all I focus on is whether I might have gained weight.

Intentional model:
C: see above
T: I seem to have gained weight – this has nothing to do with my self-worth.
F: compassionate/loving
A: I remind myself that this is MY body, I am grateful for all that my body does for me/enables me to do, I don’t spend any more time thinking about this. 
R: I don’t make my weight mean anything about my self-worth and enjoy the sauna.

At first I had the thought as ‘I seem to have gained weight’ only, however, it really is what I make that mean about myself that creates the feeling – could you please give me feedback on my model?

Answer:

First of all, have you celebrated this moment?! What a win!! The self-awareness, the implementation of tools, the fact-vs.-story-checking…it seems like this is something to take pride in, embrace, and celebrate!
The only thing I would recommend changing about your models is the C line. Yes, you were in the sauna, in a bikini, looking at your thighs. But the thing that you have a thought about is the noticing the thought: I seem to have gained weight. You can very easily slip this into the C line by doing this:
C: Brain said (or Noticed I had the thought), “I seemed to have gained weight”
Can you see how this is different than having a thought in the C line? It’s still factual…this is something that happened. And you caught yourself making that thought mean something about you. We will be starting to host some model workshop calls that are designed specifically so you can get real-time feedback and lots of practice with creating models in the very near future, so be on the lookout for those!
Nice work with these models!