Taking care of myself 3

This “issue” came back up for me while I was writing in my journal last night. I keep telling myself that I’m not taking care of myself or that I don’t know how to take care of myself. It’s coming from a self judgment that I’m not doing x,y,z. If I was doing x,y,z then I’d be taking care of myself.
I’m now living alone and everything I am doing, or not doing, is for me. I understand that I’m making the decisions for myself but I’m also making myself feel bad for not doing more. I don’t have a reference for taking care of myself because I’m just now learning how to do that, or seeing that I haven’t been taking care of myself.
Last week was extremely difficult and stressful, dealing with a natural disaster and having to work everyday in the aftermath. I was wanting to recharge and restore my energy over the weekend so I could be replenished for the coming week. Sounds like a great idea but I don’t know what that result looks like. How would I know that I was replenished? Like a gas tank. I know it’s empty cuz we’re not moving, but how do I know it’s getting filled. I want to feel cared for or taken care of but I keep thinking it’s external. I don’t want to force myself to move forward and get going with prepping for what’s next until I honor what I went through. I’m viewing this as physically taking care of myself by doing things, or not doing things, and emotionally caring for myself. I think the physical stuff is where the judgment is coming from and it’s easier to focus on because I can see it. I think the emotional part is more important. It would have a greater impact.

 

Answer:

 

Well, let’s celebrate the fact that you know you want to take care for yourself and you’ve been curious about what that looks like.

You just experienced life during and after a natural disaster after which you worked. Just hearing that triggers a stress response within me. Take care of your nervous system first if you know that needs energy, then you can get curious about what tending to your emotional needs might also look like. How can you create safety for yourself where you are? It’s okay to start with the physical if it’s more accessible – this will ripple out into your emotional world in some way.

I wonder what part of you needs replenishing and care? Which emotional part of you needs tending? Is it the part of you that needs connection? The part of you that needs quiet? The part of you that needs calm? If you couldn’t do the wrong thing, what might be a place for you to start tending to this need? What ideas do you have about how that could look or be described?