Taking public transit – stress cycle

Hey coaches! I’ve been mulling on submitting this query to y’all for a while. It’s still half baked, but I trust that you’ll pull something out for my self coaching!

I live in a large, bustling city and use public transit to get around. I could own a car, but I choose not to (and I like that decision). Sometimes I bike (and I like that decision). I could walk, and I often do, but with winter arriving I will do less of that.

I notice I am often quite activated on the subway. I try to travel outside of peak rush hours when I can, but even still I am sometimes surrounded by people and feel quite uncomfortable (thoughts like: I can’t sit and I want to, someone might steal my wallet, etc.). More significantly, I feel threatened sometimes when people are yelling or pushing, and I often worry that I’ll get pushed onto the train tracks or that I’ll be attacked by an angry person. I also notice some sadness, as there are many unhoused people who use the subway for warmth and shelter. I take some actions in this realm (donating to causes, organizing around housing) but I feel like it is not enough.

Sometimes I practice thoughts about my own safety. Sometimes I listen to a podcast or music and try to shut out the experience of being something m public transit.

More and more, I would like to get to a neutral place. I’m on transit a lot (I’m writing this now while I’m on transit) and it would improve my quality of life if I could enjoy this experience more.

Can you offer some suggestions for self coaching on this please?

 

 

Answer:

A thought that is really helpful for “what ifs” is: When it happens I’ll know exactly what to do. Your brain thinks it’s protecting you by coming up with scary situations that might happen in the future but it’s really just making today miserable. When you are in a safe and comfortable place, give yourself a short amount of time and plan out a few ways you can minimize your risks of harm or being robbed. Then set a goal of when you will put your plan into action and create an intentional model that includes how you want to think and feel as you take action.

The goal in the end isn’t to fully prevent anything from happening to you (which we can’t control), it’s to increase your confidence on public transport by showing your brain you’ve got this(which you can control).

In coaching we talk a lot about the higher brain but in this case, really leaning into trusting your lower survival brain will also help you believe that you will know exactly what to do in a dangerous situation. How could you increase your trust in your own instincts?  Explore this and see what comes up. Bring your questions and models back for more coaching. Thank you for submitting your question, just typing it out and sending it in is going to start a powerful shift.