Taking responsibility vs blaming yourself for everything

Hey coaches hope you are well!

I just wanted to ask an open question.

I struggle to know the difference between taking responsibility for my thoughts and feeling… knowing that it’s all in my hands as to how I respond and interpret peoples words / situations …. With letting people get away with treating me potentially badly and also blaming myself for everything and taking all the responsibility.

Any clarity around this would be most welcome and great fully received xxxx

 

Answer:

Excellent question. This is where the model is so helpful. Everything humans do and don’t do is inspired by how we want to feel (what’s in the F line, or what we want to be in the F line). So whatever someone else in your life does that impacts you negatively stems from their own models and ONLY their own models. The same goes for you. I would first get curious about why you think you let people get away with treating you potentially badly and blame yourself for everything? What does that allow for you (my guess is that this is closely tied to creating a sense of safety)? What comes up after you answer this question? Come back to us with your discoveries. Lastly, check out Maisie’s podcast episodes 34, 35, and 36 about taking too much responsibility, taking too little responsibility, and being responsible for yourself.