Taking the pill again

I started taking the contraceptive pill in my teens, took it for ten years and then swapped it for a copper coil about ten years ago. My intention was to live more “naturally” and the hope was that my migraine would improve. Now I’ve had two children and the coil put back in after both times. After my second child the combination of a weak pelvic floor and having the coil meant that my periods are so heavy that I have problems managing it. E.g. swimming/ sauna becomes impossible for two days and I have to put a lot of effort into what I wear and where I go as I have to have in mind where I can change tampons, pads and or cups. It bothers me. Also my breasts have shrunk by two sizes after breastfeeding child number 2. In the beginning of this year I got so frustrated with it that I decided to discuss starting the pill with my gyno again. Then I read period power. Taking the pill was out of the question after and instead I started tracking my cycle and discovering all these things about it.
I have now reached a stage where I feel like I have collected a lot of data and now I am curious about comparing it to the experience of being on the pill. The heavy flows still bother me and my migraine is still there; manageable but regular (I have identified a combination of triggers; I cannot pin it down to one thing).
The idea of having a hormone level that is relatively consistent and a light or maybe even no period seems very appealing to me right now. I believe that my breasts will grow considerably again as the pill has basically always given me pregnancy breasts (which I only realised in hindsight). I do feel embarrassed that this is an issue for me. At the same time I think of all these people who go through the horrors of surgery to augment their breasts. So if taking the pill does that for me that seems so easy. I think that I could always stop taking the pill if I felt it was unpleasant or I was not being myself. I don’t intend to have another child so I’m not concerned about pill related fertility issues in the long run.
But of course, having been on the “period power journey” I feel like I would be giving up some of my authenticity, experiencing life in full depth, swapping it for an artificial experience that could even go so far that I don’t even realise how different I’ve become.

Maybe I am asking for permission here, which I know I can only give myself. But I think I am asking for questions and thoughts to consider in taking this decision. Thank you!

 

Answer:

This is such a great submission because it calls into question what we define as being “authentic”. The purpose of TFC, Period Power, and all of Maisie’s work is not to tell you what is bad or good for you and your body. It’s to help you cultivate an awareness and an acceptance of who you are, how you function, what you want, and how you can embrace it. Wanting to experience your body differently and looking for ways facilitate that isn’t wrong. It would be interesting to get curious about your definition of living authentically. Spend some time defining your idea of what that means, and then answer this question: Is it possible to live authentically and be taking hormonal birth control? Why or why not?