Thought Download Reflections Part 3

I sometimes think if I can try and get to the cause of why I think or behave a certain way, it might break a chain because I understand why. But I can see why that isn’t always the case and like you said, making a decision on purpose on repeat until it becomes the new pathway I always go down.

It’s funny because two people on the team made a mistake last week and I obviously don’t know beyond what they show me how they’re dealing with it but to me it’s like the were able to manage their feelings about it. And also, it was a helpful reminder for me that I’m not the only one. Sometimes things are forgotten and you can only deal with that if or when it happens. Plus, it’s human!

Creating room to make a mistake feels scary. Especially at work because I worry what people would think of me, I often begin second guessing it. Or how I would like it band over me as it takes a while to get over it, or so it feels…probably because I’m giving it room by ruminating and go over the scenario and trying to see it from all angles.

When I make a mistake, here’s how I’ll take care of myself when they happens:
– Stop
– Take a breath
– Not tell myself I’m stupid, tell myself I’m human
– Respond instead of react: take a moment to see if the mistake I made can be corrected and if it can’t … – this is where I get a little stuck because telling myself I know for next time doesn’t seem to fit because a certain mistake on a task might not be something that crops up again. It could be an isolated case.

I’d really like some help on this more.
I’d also like to explore the overwhelm I mentioned in Part 1 and go over that some more please.

 

 

Answer:

There is really no upside to calling yourself stupid. Give yourself so much love when you notice that happening. It’s ok to not know the “how” yet.  Perhaps as you begin making these shifts you can focus more on the process of how you react to mistakes rather than the details of what happened. A really helpful thought is “I am becoming a person who…”  How would you finish that sentence? You can think broadly, or be more specific as you explore your relationship with making mistakes and allowing yourself to be human. What do you observe in your coworkers seem to be managing their feelings well? What could you learn from them?

For the overwhelm, you wrote:

The overwhelm feels heavy and uncomfortable. My brain feels fuzzy and I find it hard to settle. To unwind or put work aside and focus on my life outside of work and what I want to do with my time and utilise for me. I feel like I can’t get away from this feeling of overwhelm or switch off from this fuzzy brain feeling.

The old saying goes: “Whether you think you can’t or you think you can, you’re right.” What if you start with just a small step like this

C: I notice my brain feeling fuzzy

T: I haven’t found ways to switch off this fuzzy brain feeling YET

T: I won’t give up until I figure out what I need most.

T: I can handle some brain fuzz

T: My fuzzy brain still serves me so well

T: I can stop fighting the fuzzy brain any time I want.

Keep exploring and see what you can come up with. It’s ok to feel overwhelmed. It’s ok that we create that for ourselves. Nothing is going wrong.