Hello, I would love some coaching on a belief that’s been there for quite a while. I like working and it’s always been important to me to find a job that I enjoy. I’m 35 and not in a relationship. I have this belief that it’s kind of sad when you’re successful but not in a relationship (especially as a woman). And I think this thought has been holding me back and preventing me from fully embracing opportunities because I fear that I will be sad or that other people will think I’m sad when I’m a single woman with a career. I would like to be in a relationship at some point but I don’t want to feel like a pitiful person until then. I have hobbies and friends so work isn’t my only focus in life but I still sometimes notice this thought that it’s sad to have a career but not a relationship. I would appreciate any advice on how to go on about this. Thank you in advance!
Answer:
What if it’s true that it’s sad to be successful in your career and not in in a relationship? Sometimes we want to get rid of thoughts we don’t like, but it can be powerful to embrace them and see what happens as well. What do the parts of you that are sad want to say? What vision did you have for your life at 35 that you might be grieving? Is there a way to allow sadness without being pitiful? (notice your inner critic’s beliefs showing themselves there.)
Our brains are really good at coming up with reasons we shouldn’t embrace opportunities. Thanks, brain. How can you allow for some sadness and some uncertainty AND live the life you want as it is right now?
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