Thoughts/Feelings About Work Part 4

I want to return to this thread. I wrote the last entry on CD10. Today’s entry comes on CD 3.
A lot of the same thoughts and feelings in previous entries are really loud right now.
I feel low, unfulfilled and dissatisfied, and this pressure, this guilt, that I should be grateful and happy. I feel directionless in work and life. I’ve got my flat, the 9-5 I wanted, but I feel weighed down by the aforementioned feelings.
I finish work and I think “I’ve got to do of all again tomorrow – the pretending to work, the pretending to be enthusiastic, the procrastinating, the buffering with food and social media. I start work and think “here we go again”
I should be grateful I have a job and one that leaves me with money after bills. I should be grateful I’m in a job I’ve been able to somewhat make my own – I should want and could run with it and create something amazing for myself but it doesn’t feel right. This doesn’t feel the right fit for me and feels disingenuous. I can’t help wishing for something else. But it could be a case of not knowing how good I’ve got it until it’s gone. I feel like I’ve always been lost in my “career”, except in my last job until the commuting began to take its toll.
I keep thinking, just get to Christmas and you can have a proper break. I question if I’m burnt out, I don’t want to say I am if I’m not. I don’t think I’m depressed. I just hate thinking/feeling this way and I don’t really know what to do with it all and how to make it feel better.

 

 

Answer:

Being a human is hard sometimes. If you could just allow for this to be a hard season for you, what would you do? What would you say to yourself?

This is one way to let go of some resistance, You just let yourself feel terrible about your job. No guilt or shoulds necessary.

What support do you need? If you are wondering if you’re burnt out or depressed, how can you find answers? It can feel overwhelming when you are low, to reach out or take any action, but it’s worth it. Here is your gentle push.