Thoughts/Feelings About Work Part 9

What emotions might you be resisting?
Jealousy, sadness, disappointment, rejection, failure, not belonging.

What do you think will happen if you just allow those feelings that have come up after not getting the job?
I think I will fall further down a hole I’m trying to climb out of. If I allow those feelings to come up, I will believe them.

What if I keep trying at something that isn’t meant for me? Is that a thought I should ignore? What if it’s true?
I saw someone say on Instagram recently: maybe it’s time to acknowledge that a goal you’ve been working towards for a long time might not be what you want anymore. But there is a difference between not wanting something anymore and feeling like you’re not good enough, not capable enough, or favoured enough to be chosen for it.

I feel so confused if I’m basing my wants because there’s some doubt there about what is possible or maybe because I feel so rooted in my previous experience that I’m finding it hard to picture anything else.

I’m tired of pretending to be invested in my work, only to be counting down until 5 p.m. when I can finish and escape the work feelings. It’s the only thing keeping me going, knowing I can hide away in the comfort of something else. And that pattern is taking the energy out of me.

I know my brain is trapping me into believing that changing jobs will change how I feel, but I want to stop feeling how I feel: dissatisfied, lost, confused, jealous of everybody else’s job or their progression.
I can recognise I’ve progressed in my role, but it’s not leading me to where I want to be, so I don’t feel joyous about it. I just feel lost. I’m moving in a direction I don’t want, and the further I keep going, the more lost I feel.
I feel joyless, in work and life. My relationship isn’t great right now, so it’s hard to make plans like a holiday or experience because I don’t know how things are going to go.

I feel confused about what actions to take to make changes. And I’m forcing some things (like the posting on social or writing or mood boards previously mentioned), which makes me more resistant to doing them.

 

Answer:

It’s true that changing the circumstance doesn’t always change the way you think about yourself – but sometimes, changing your circumstance is exactly the right thing to do, and it opens a new door or window of opportunity for thought work.

Let’s explore this. Why do you think that you have to change how you feel before you change jobs? What do you think you have to do to stop feeling what you don’t want to feel? Examine that. Ask curiosity-based questions. Find the holes in what your brain is saying knowing that what your it might be serving is a rough draft of what’s possible or true.

Also, on 8 May, 2024, Maisie did a coaching call called Changing the C line. It might pique your interest and give you some things to consider when it comes to making a change.