Thoughts on moving in with partner

Hello!
Would love some coaching on my insecurity and unclarity about moving in with my boyfriend. We agreed that this would be a good decision, so we can spend more time together (instead of commuting so much), save some money and start a new adventure together. The thing is that he lives in the big city in a rather small flat with stinky walls and little sunshine. And I live with 6 amazing people in a huge house with loads of space and close to the forest. There is a difference in what is actually important for us right now. And moving in with him would mean, for me, to give up on my values, on what I want for my life.

I have done a few models with the same C line and different T lines. I would be so happy about your thoughts on them!

C: Moving to my boyfriend’s place
T: I will have to give up on my lifestyle
F: Sad
A: Procrastinating telling my roommates when exactly I will move out; mourning and ruminating over the things I would give up; not seeing any good things on the new lifestyle I would have there;
R: I don’t allow myself to see whether I could still keep my lifestyle even when moving with him

C: Moving to my boyfriend’s place
T: I am not sure this is a good idea
F: Confused
A: Avoiding the topic with my roommates and my boyfriend; waiting for something to happen to make me not move out; looking for evidence that this is not a good idea
R: I make myself confused and do not take any action

C: Moving to my boyfriend’s place
T: I find his house too small and dark
F: Irritated
A: Overfocusing on the small and dark aspects and overseeing other positive things; complaining about this; making my decision depending on “fixing” these “problems”
R: I don’t give myself the chance to appreciate his house

 

Answer:

These are great models!

It would be helpful to compare them to the models if you chose not to move. How would you feel then? Why would you feel that way?

Starting there to compare the models for moving vs not moving may be helpful. When you have all options laid out and see each model, it may be easier to understand things – feel free to share them here and we can continue the coaching.