To identify what I really want Pt 2

I’ve been reflecting on how you put this: “If that’s another baby, great. If not, that’s ok too. you said “Ultimately, my biggest problem is I cannot hear what I want.” Question that thought. You know what you want. What if you weren’t afraid and just said it?”

Objectively, when I zoom out of the situation I see a circumstance where there is an opportunity to try for an additional child.
My thoughts then go to: I should try to/obligation as I’m no longer in survival mode.
But what I Really Want is to feel good, and getting to that realization these past few days has been huge. Having another baby or not, I believe I have the skills to succeed. So that’s the specific question: If either is fine, how do I move towards a decision?

 

 

Answer:

What sounds more fun? It seems like if both options are good the decision becomes harder but really when you can be super clean and confident that either way would be fine, the decision is simple. Just pick.

Because you are in a partnership, you’ll want to take their desires into account as well. You could even flip a coin and see what comes up. Notice your emotional reaction to the coin flip and see if it gives you any more insight.

Making a decision and moving forward may also give you some clarity. Take action. If it’s the process of trying again, get started. If it’s not, make plans with that in mind. See what comes up as you take those steps forward. You don’t need to stay stuck in indecision and wait until you feel 100% confident. This seems like a big choice because of the risks and rewards and involving a tiny human…but you can use the same techniques you’d use to pick a bottle of shampoo. It’s all just thoughts. Don’t stand in the aisle forever, just grab the one that looks good or smells good and go.

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