Triggers and glimmers

I’ve recently started a list of triggers and glimmers and I’d love some insight.

It seems that my triggers have a lot to do with people and perceived thoughts in others – my thoughts about what they are thinking. My glimmers seem to be mostly calming activities for my nervous system. I wonder what some next steps could be for how I make this list useful, or maybe even how I challenge some of these triggers to make them less of an issue?

Triggers and glimmers

Triggers
– [ ] More than one child/ person talking at the same time.
– [ ] Rushing/ time pressure
– [ ] Perceived aggression/ anger/ passive aggression in another adult
– [ ] Feeling ‘invaded’ – with demands on my time or emotionally dumping onto me
– [ ] Feeling unwell/ low energy and what I make that mean
– [ ] Texts/ messages/ emails from clients
– [ ] Clients deciding not to continue with my classes
– [ ] Changes that could affect my income eg community centre closing
– [ ] Perceived tension/ upset amongst people – leading to my fawn response
– [ ] Being with people where I don’t feel I can be myself

Glimmers
– [ ] Laughing with my children
– [ ] Reading stories to my children
– [ ] Yoga and somatic practices
– [ ] Holding my childrens hands or having cuddles
– [ ] Baths – 41 degrees, Epsom salts and candles
– [ ] Deep breaths, especially in fresh air
– [ ] Having my hair or back stroked by husband
– [ ] Calming environment – eg soft lighting, nice smells, soft cushions/ blankets
– [ ] Drinking tea
– [ ] Slowly sucking chocolate
– [ ] Smells – essential oils, cut grass, rain, flowers
– [ ] Talking with friends who I perceive as being accepting/ like minded

 

Answer:

Who are the people you don’t feel you can be yourself with? Make a list. Think of a recent interaction where you felt this happening. Do a thought download specifically on this situation. Why can’t you be yourself? What are you afraid of? What parts of you do you hide?  Simply be curious and open.

Now think of the last time you were with friends who you think are more accepting. Do a thought download about this interaction. Why can you be yourself? What makes you feel comfortable? What parts of you do you share openly?

If you did models on these situations both would currently be unintentional. Your brain wants to tell you that it’s the people around you that change how you feel, but we know it’s our thoughts. You’ve just practiced thinking certain thoughts when you’re with certain people. Think about someone you know who is themselves no matter what. What do you think is going on in their head? Use them as an example of the possibility of not changing the way you think about yourself based on who you are in proximity to.   See what comes up as you explore and bring your models or questions back.