Unexpected pregnancy

Hello

I have just found out I am pregnant (thank you to cycle tracking when my period didn’t start after 14 DPO so prompted me to take a test) but I’m not sure how I’m feeling about it. Both of my previous pregnancies were planned. If anyone ever asked me if I wanted a 3rd I’d say ‘yes I love having babies but my husband only wants 2’ and never thought much past that. Now my husband is really happy about this surprise but I keep flipping between pure joy and dread over it. I think part of the problem is I find pregnancy very anxiety inducing and so I wonder if I’m more fearful over the pregnancy itself – worrying about miscarriage, if the baby is healthy, etc than actually having another child. I would like some help on managing my fear/anxiety around being pregnant.

Models

C: I am pregnant
T: what if I miscarry/or baby isn’t healthy
F: dread
A: research statistics
A: eat sugar
A: disengage
R: I worry myself with further information

C: I am pregnant
T: we are going to have such fun as a family of 5
F: joy
A: play with my children
A: connect with my husband
A: dance in the kitchen
R: I am excited about having another child

Thank you!

 

Answer:

You have two wonderfully done and very clear models here – nice job on those! I want to start by saying that there is nothing wrong with feeling anxious and dreadful, especially when your brain defaults to thinking about the possibility of miscarriage and questioning the health of your baby – in fact, it makes perfect sense.

Think about anxiety and dread as dinner guests who you can have a conversation with. Is there a way you can create an understanding about what roles they are playing for you right now and how they are trying to protect you? What would they have to say? What would you like to reassure them of in this conversation?

Next, what else is possible for you to think about your pregnancy at this point in time? Can you give equal air time to some other thoughts that make you feel calm, excited, content, or patient? Here are some examples of how to frame thoughts that might help you bridge the gap between “What if I miscarry/or baby isn’t healthy” to “We are going to have so much fun as a family of 5″…(you’re going to have to fill these in for yourself).

• It’s possible that…

• I’m open to believing that…

• I’m seeking evidence that…

Come on back for more coaching and let us know how these work for you.