Unhelpful worries

Hi 🙂

I’d appreciate some coaching on the theme of worrying. I did a thought download as I noticed I had a whole load of thoughts where I was worrying about my puppies. The download contained thoughts around how much I love them and want to keep them safe, but there were a lot of ‘what if…?’ thoughts like what if they aren’t happy? what if they get hurt? I know it’s my mind generating unhelpful thoughts – they are just fine, a pair of happy and healthy puppies.

I attempted a model for a specific situation (in the house, which is secure)…

C: I couldn’t see Nellie and I didn’t know where she was.
T: ?
F: Fear.
A: Search for Nellie.
A: Called out for Nellie.
A: Immediately stop what I was previously doing to search.
A: Unable to maintain focus on whatever i was doing.
A: Catastrophising thoughts about her being lost or hurt.
R: ?

I could use some help figuring out the T and R. When i think about what the thought was in that situation it moves very quickly through “where is Nellie?”, to “I need to find Nellie”, then “She might’ve escaped”. I’m leaning to the second thought but I’d appreciate your feedback.

Thank you.

 

 

Answer:

Your thought may be as simple as “This is bad.” or “this is a problem.” but it sounds like you are jumping right to worst case scenario where your puppies could be hurt/die/be lost forever. Puppy parenting instincts kick in (possible nervous system activation) and your brain wants to solve the problem ASAP.  It also thinks that you need to be afraid or worried to do so, but that’s not true. Your result is you continue to see puppy problems everywhere.

Worry is never useful. As you’ve noticed, it often affects the way we think, feel and act so that we don’t show up the way we want to. In an effort to protect us from the actual worst case scenario which is an uncomfortable emotion in the future, our brain keeps us uncomfortable now.  In your model, you said you don’t know where Nellie is, but you do:In the house. Your circumstance is C: I can’t see Nellie

What do you want to think and feel when you can’t see your puppies? What kind of dog parent do you want to be? Create an intentional model that feels good to you. You may still take similar actions, but you drop the part where you let worry take over. See what comes up and bring back any questions or models.