Unsatisfied in my work – more salary and less challenges – Part 2 : the DREAM

As part of my unsatisfaction at work, it made me realise I want to feel a direct impact of my work to the lives of people – that I am not currently feeling and a sense of accomplishment – that I am not feeling atm.

My word of this year is SPACIOUS /SPACE / MAKING SPACE which aligns with the part of dreaming. If I would dream (as Mars would tell in the coaching call), I would take two paths of careers completely different but still with similar objectives – healing :
1. Herbalist / Sound Healing /breath work / Gentle movement : To support people to heal based on the natural properties available around us
2. Become a skilled (Crisis or hostage) negotiators / Mediator to solve conflicts preferably in national settings. Currently I have a masters in Conflict, Power and Politics.

To achieve this dream, I need some reserves to finance all the additional trainings / master degree’s which seems impossible to finance at this moment as well as a large amount of time. My brain is directly going to the thought “you didn’t pay of your student debt and you are considering adding more studies to your CV”. But I managed to shush it and some solutions come. up:
1. The current job could support financing my master’s in negotiations (paying partially for it),
2. The current job provides me time to find an exit strategy,
3. The less challenging work could allow me to have the time to do the training beside my work,
4. The current job would force me to find happiness outside of work (work not as top priority).

My fears are for now that :
– I spend money on something “not useful”/”not efficient”.
– I will disappoint my parents – in the past years (And as a parenting model), working hard is central to your life. A belief is ancered: If you don’t work hard, you are not doing well in life.
– I will lose interest too fast -> not pull through.
– I will not be good enough at this to earn money out of it.

Three questions for you:
1.How to make the distinction between rational fears and fears that are originating from a resistance to change/your brain trying to protect you from change?

2.How to make the distinction between a crazy idea (financially dangerous) and a limiting idea ?

3. How to sell myself this idea that I can achieve this hybrid form of work profile ?

 

 

Answer:

 

As coaches, we totally get the desire to have a meaningful impact on the world – go you!

As per your questions, here are some ideas…

Let’s start with the easiest first.

#2) Numbers don’t lie. Have you done the math on cost of living, cost of education, and anything ‘extra’? What do they tell you? Is it something you’re interested/capable of taking on in a way that allows you to also live comfortably? If you are unsure of how to do that, who can you enlist to help you with this math?

#1) To your brain, fear is fear when it is unchecked. It’s your ancestry trying to keep you safe for all the right reasons: survival. But there is no lion around the rock here, no imminent threat to your life. What do you think is a rational fear and an irrational fear in this circumstance? What is the worst thing that could happen if you acknowledged that some of your fears are rational, and some are irrational, and that’s okay – it just means that you’re a human making a hard decision?

#3) Why do you think you need to have both of these things be work? What if one was a hobby? I’m seeing some either-or thinking here; “I’m either making money off of both these things, or…(fill in the blank)’. What is on the spectrum between the ‘either’ and the ‘or’ in this circumstance?