Unwanted crush – part 2

Thanks so much for your coaching on this. It was interesting, because when I stopped pushing this away these thoughts and welcomed them in, I was pleasantly surprised by what they had to tell me.
That is, I think they are evidence that my capacity for attraction has very much matured and grown! It tells me that I appreciate qualities that go beyond the superficial (like height… and also looks more generally, and other ‘success’ status like education and jobs) and which will all increase my odds of finding a healthy relationship: such as kindness, stability, feeling safe with them, trusting them, feeling like I can be myself, reliability etc.
And with that, I feel less fixed on this specific person and more proud that what I find attractive and know is good for me has grown in these ways, especially compared to previous relationships of mine.
Right now, I do not want to take any action on things with this person. My stable living space is a priority for me, and this feels less black and white now that I’ve allowed myself to listen to what this crush has been telling me.
I’m curious because I don’t have any other straight single male friends, and also went to an all girls school, so a part of me wonders if this is me not knowing how to have that with a straight man?!
Either way, I feel happier just being open with this, less fixed or worried – just being curious and seeing what unfolds while I get on with my own thing and remain open to other people who might come into my life. Can that be enough right now?

 

Answer:

It sounds like you’re asking permission to embrace this growth and love your life as it is, where it is. You have our full-steam go-ahead on that, but whose permission do you really need to bask in warm rays of your own growth?