Upleveling : identity as herbalist

Would appreciate help with my responses on up, leveling myself.

1. Labeling: I want to level my identity as a herbalist and a leader of my own life who is confident in my strength and authenticity in this role.

2. Stop the gap: the version I’m still operating in is that I need to do my professional work in brackets which is not herbalism it’s my paid work first before I can concentrate time to study herbalism. other identities include, I need to be a good employee. I need to be a kind and nice colleague. Basically a lot of people pleasing in my professional life, which becomes first before herbalism. This really annoys me because the new version of me wants to put my herbalism first and not get sucked down the whirlpool of work . I’m currently working three days a week. The whole idea is that I have two days to focus to my herbalism studies yet this doesn’t happen because work creeps and I keep saying yes to work even though I’m supposed to work this number of hours it frustrates me makes me feel like a fraud. The new me I thought had evolved to put my studies first. I do try to find time to study in gaps and I noticed that I’m not remember everything and then I get critical about. How am I supposed to remember all the things that I’m studying if I’m not making time

3. Closing the identity gap: in response to the question about what identity am I stepping into this is what I came up with: I am a herbalist. I know that this is something I want to pursue and I trust that I’ll find a way to make it happen as long as I keep moving and don’t criticize myself along the way

4. Acting from future Self: to answer the question about what I would say yes to: keep studying and experimenting with different ways of showing up as a as a herbalist (giving workshops, continuing volunteering at my healing garden: keep studying ask my herbalist mentor if I can sit in one of her sessions).

What decision am I avoiding that the new version would not hesitate: quit my current job so that I can spend more time to study. this is a super scary thought because I haven’t worked out the math of how I could afford to do that I’m not in a position to do that. Also makes me annoyed because with three days I should be able to make time for this and buy this I mean, studying

What’s one clear action that my future self would make? Make a routine of studying a week, have a plan for the next six months and stick to it. Find some way to make myself accountable so that I follow this

Any help you can provide with these thoughts would be helpful thank you.

Answer:

I wonder what would happen if you took some of the things you see yourself saying in here and applied it as the one action whether that would feel different. Let’s play with this.

You say that the clear actions the future self would make is the following: make a routine of studying a week, have a plan for 6 months, and stick to it. The current you has a plan, but doesn’t stick to it. One reason you cited was that you say yes to work things that creep in to your non-work days.

What does sticking to the plan look and sound like in the future? What would your future self thank you for doing now? I say this with love and kindness – nobody is making you say yes but you. If you gave yourself permission to say no to work responsibilities on your herbalism days, what would that be like?