Verbal and mental communication issues

Hello! I’m noticing that my ability to communicate concisely changes throughout my cycle. For example, in my late Winter/Spring I feel full of ideas and can take information and make it make sense, I’m creative, I’m productive, I describe it as “I’m firing on all cylinders”. In my autumn, my brain feels jumbled, my speech sounds full of corporate fluff and I find tasks at work hard to read/action on. I listen back to myself on calls and I don’t even understand what I was saying, let alone my customers I’m on video calls to!

This up and down change in how I appear at work, frustrates me as i want to be the ‘firing on all cylinders’ me, 100% of the time! I have put my unintentional and intentional model below and would love some feedback.

It may or may not be important to note, I am hard of hearing (I wear hearing aids), so I am conscious my ability to process information may be something that’s impacting my brain literally being able to communicate. There could be something more specific to hormones, my brain and my hearing here.. or maybe that’s an excuse I’m coming up with and is a whole other thought model 😉

Unintentional

C: I am on a work video call
T: What I’m saying doesn’t make sense
F: Incompetent
A: Overtalk, say sentences that don’t make sense, I go off track of the agenda/plan, lose my train of thought, forget to take notes, act unnaturally, speak quickly
R: The call doesn’t get me the answers I need

Intentional

C: I am on a work video call
T: I am able to run this call well
F: Confident
A: I am active listening, I take notes, I pause, I ask meaningful questions, I work my way through my agenda in the timeframe of our call
R: The customer trusts me and we build a good relationship

 

Answer:

Hello! Your models look very well done on the whole! Nice work. Something to be mindful of in the future is whether or not, and how, your Rs are connected to your Ts. In your first model, I’d say that your R is that very little makes sense about the call and you’ve ended it with more confusion than clarity. In your IM, I’d guess that the R you create is that the call and the information you gather and communicate on it is well organized and clear.

I want to point out that in your IM, your T wasn’t, “I can fire on all cylinders on this call no matter what.” it was, “I can run this call well.” I LOVE THAT because ‘well’ can be defined very differently than ‘firing on all cylinders’. So many of us have been indoctrinated to believe that GOOD work isn’t acceptable unless it’s PERFECT (or close to it) and we cultivate an expectation that we should be able to fire on all cylinders all of the time regardless of what is going on around or inside of us (sound familiar?). When we discover that we can’t live or work that way, there’s a really good chance that we’ll be disappointed and/or ashamed of ourselves.

But here’s a fun secret: doing something so it’s good enough is just as effective and more accessible than doing it perfectly. So, let’s define what doing something well means for you.

• What does doing something well mean to you? If you could give ‘done well’ a letter grade, what would it be?

• Can you do something well and still have room for improvement? What letter grade would you give that? What thoughts come up for you when you think about the option to apply this to yourself at any time in your cycle?

Lastly, is it possible that the times in your cycle where communication is more difficult doesn’t mean a thing (good or bad) about you? Could you see it as information about you instead? If so…

• Can you could you use the data you have about how you communicate in your autumn as a guide to prepare yourself for showing up to do well (by your definition) during your autumn? If so, how? If not, why not?

As always, notice what thoughts arise while answering these questions, and how they in turn make you feel. Come back with what you discover!