Vulnerability in the Flow Collection

I have been noticing that I feel some vulnerability in the Flow Collective community. This shows up as thoughts that say “I am not appreciated in this space”, “I am not doing it right” and “I am not wanted”.

This is a thread throughout my life, and is one of the reasons why I currently have very few friends.

It has been heightened in the last few days after some comments related to something I wrote in the community, and a mention in the podcast of how intentional the community is. I have this sense that there are rules that I might not fully understand or have grasped, whilst they are obvious for other people, and they can see me doing it wrong.

Writing this is helping me to organise some of my thoughts and feelings about it. I think I could try on “I am engaging in the best way I can given my current knowledge of the rules”
or “It is okay to be me, and to make mistakes” or “I love the messy, imperfect version of me”

I am not sure what my question is, other than having a coaches perspective on my thoughts here? Thank you!

 

 

Answer:

When you notice thoughts like these, first give yourself loads of compassion. Then question them. Try these:

If I was appreciated in this space I would get to feel…

If I was doing it right I would get to feel….

If I was wanted I would get to feel….

What we truly want is a feeling, and the great news is we can create those with our thoughts. Can you come up with some thoughts that help you create the feelings you want?

Humans all want to belong, so it’s funny how our brain wants to point out all the ways we don’t. Our brain also would like perfect rules to follow to guarantee we will fit in. I would offer that the beauty of this group is that everyone is unique. What if you just decided to be the you-est you that you can be?