Waking up (morning) with heavyness/anxiety

Heyhey!

First time here, getting it out into the open. I think I better just start somewhere, to provide some background information to my question(s).
The last 2 months have been challenging. I’ve resigned from a job that was not a fruitful place to be. Actually, it was a place where it seems people are getting drained, as you can see in the people leaving with mental health issues. My body was showing to me that it was time to leave in: ‘forgetfulness’, (more) anxiety, and some nights of no/less sleep because of feeling too much awakened or frightened for my responsibilities. The week after I resigned my body started having heavy eczema again (on my arms and hands) and light ‘palpitation’ most in communication with my manager, who triggered & harassed me. I called in sick on the 28th of June because I would not allow the harassment anymore and did not see another way than to stop the communication by calling sick.
At the moment it’s one month since I called in sick. It has been a bumpy (because of diverse e-mail conversations with the company in which they threatened me) & exciting month (because I am making plans to rebuild a van to a camper and to go and travel from September).
But here almost comes the question..:) At the moment I am housesitting (of my mom’s friend)(from the 27th of July) and the last 3 days waking up have been really difficult to experience.
Because I wake up with a heavy body/mind, more specific: feeling depressed, feeling like there is a stone in my body and restlessness (in my legs). And often the thought of: ‘this I had before oh no I will not be okay’. The week before I was housesitting we went camping on holiday with the family, here I did not experience waking up like this.

I am trying to understand what is happening in the night and why I am waking up like this. I know it helps me to know where things/feelings come from, and usually than I am more able to let it be or go. Could you think along with me what could be going on (in the nights) in my mind and body and also what could be things I could do to maybe process this heaviness? And would you give me feedback on how I am telling the story above?

Curious about your response, thanks in advance!

 

Answer:

Firsts are the best, congratulations on showing up for you here in TFC.

It may be worth a check with your GP for any physical or mental health issues that are affecting you.

In regards to coaching: You are the best expert on you.  If you knew exactly what was going on, what would you say is the reason you are waking up feeling this way? You don’t need to spend a lot of time and energy figuring this out.

It’s normal to want to fix this right away because it seems like a big problem. I would offer to you to just allow it to be there. Love it, embrace it and see it as information. What is your body telling you? What is your mind telling you? How can you care for yourself when you wake up feeling heavy, depressed and with restless legs with only the goal of soothing, not fixing?

The Creating Safety webinar really dives into your nervous system. Watch it and see what comes up then bring any questions back to AAC.