Wanting A Friend To Go On Holiday With Pt. II

Thank you so much for your answer. I only saw two options: either I go on a holiday with a friend that often makes me uncomfortable or I don’t go on a holiday at all. I think I was in a model where I was very fixated on the idea of going on one particular kind of holiday. I also put very much pressure on this plan to go on holiday. And I felt like I had to figure it out all now. I felt very rigid.

After reading your answer, I immediately felt relief because I could see other options:

– I love horses (they could be my friends?), so I could book a riding course somewhere
– I love icelandic horses in particular, so I could book a multiple day horse-riding tour in Iceland (which is very expensive so I could also intentionally decide not to go on holiday this year and save the money so that I can go to Iceland next year) and I could talk about it and see if someone else wants to join me
– a friend of mine who I had lost contact with reached out to me recently; she lives in London now and offered that I could visit her, so maybe I could spend a few nice days in London
– I could try to improve the situation with the friend that often makes me uncomfortable; the next time something arises I could address it in a polite way and tell her how it makes me feel (and/or ask if something is bothering her)
– I have a male friend who went on some kind of organized group trip last year and wants to do it again this year; I could talk to him about it and see if there’s an option where I could join him

These are the options I came up with. They seem really fun. At first, it does feel more scary to go on a horse-riding tour (because it’s outside my comfort zone) than to just book a holiday with a friend I’d been on holiday with previously. But, on the other hand, it’s also draining to spend time with someone who I don’t always feel comfortable around.

I some circles, there’s always this “pressure” to have a great holiday lined up. That’s why I was also looking for a friend that I could book a holiday with, so I could just say “yeah, I have this nice holiday coming up”. But I’m trying not to succumb to that pressure and let other people have their opinions.

I think I want to look into holidays with horses more closely, speak to some people who have already done riding-tours and see what comes up for me. I’m single at the moment so why not enjoy this at the moment, go on an adventure and then, when I hopefully meet someone in the near feature, I can go on holiday with that person.

I’d appreciate your feedback. Thank you!

Answer:

So many fun ideas! Keep it going! How can you keep your heart and your ears open for your next adventure?

Very good awareness noticing the pressure to have a holiday lined up. How do you get to feel when you have something booked to tell people about? How do you feel when you don’t? What’s going on there? See if you can name 1-3 specific people who you think you have to have a holiday to share about with. Be on to your brain when it says “in certain circles.” What we often find is there are specific people you’re worried about.