Wanting to hide after expansion

Hi,

I’ve been taking some more expansive action recently, around posting more stuff on Instagram – since realising how crucial this is to my writing career success – and also re-launching my Substack, after taking a break last year when I went freelance.
Both of these wins are very positive in themselves. I’m posting much messier and more often on Instagram. And when I wrote my first newsletter, I enjoyed it a lot – plus I noticed that it was quicker and easier than in the past. Which was wonderful to see how my writing confidence and capacity has grown.
In the moment, when I published it, I also noticed that I felt more comfortable about sharing it with others – in the past, I remember feeling so scared to do this, and I also left my name off it. So this shows how far I’ve come too!
However, since publishing this, I have had a delayed wave of that exposure hitting me. It’s got my name on and I’m sharing it on my Instagram now, too (although I’ve put off doing that).
I’m feeling a little vulnerable, like I’ve peeled back some layers of myself again. And, although I know all my why’s for doing so, I feel like I want to run away and hide from the world now….
The whole process of expanding my online presence and writing can be a little emotionally exhausting. I’m conscious of this from my freelancing already. So I’d like to pre-empt some of this moving forwards.
It’s almost like I need a moment of cocooning after I’ve done something exposing. I was trying to think of ideas for this:
– Watching netflix on the sofa or bed
– Bath
– Reading
– Coaching!
– Telling someone I trust and feel safe with that I’m feeling a little exposed right now

Do you have any tips on navigating this type of expansion which involves feeling seen, and making it sustainable so I don’t want to avoid it altogether? Is it also about recognising that my brain is in a nervous system response?
Thank you

 

 

Answer:

One thing I notice is your brain is doing brain things. It thinks the way you feel now is the way you’ll feel forever. And it could be right. It also could be wrong.  But look at the evidence you have that you can make shifts. What did you learn in the process of growing your writing confidence and capacity that you can apply here. What uncomfortable emotions did you have to get well acquainted with?

It sounds like you’ve already got a great start on loving and caring for yourself in these moments. Keep exploring to see what works, then keep all the tools in your tool belt. How would it feel if you knew you might experience vulnerability but you could always take care of it.

You’re right on with your nervous system. It can feel like we are being judged, and getting shunned from the group = death to our brain. What else are you afraid of? Be gentle. Give yourself opportunities to show yourself that you are safe.