Weekend Alone with the Kids

My husband is away this weekend and I’m not looking forward to managing with the kids on my own during my autumn – particularly because the little one is ill and we have to take the older one to a birthday party (never my favourite thing to do). I gave myself time earlier in the week to rest and prepare a bit, and I’ve asked my mother-in-law to take the eldest to his swimming lesson, so I don’t have to do that with the baby as well as the martial arts class, and I’m just doing some self-coaching now. The main stuff that’s coming up is about me not being able to stay regulated – and this unintentional model:

C: Weekend with the kids
T: I’ll end up shouting
F: Inadequate
A: Imagine being unregulated and not being able to keep connection; buffer with housework; think it’s inevitable that I’ll end up shouting
R: I make it inevitable that I’ll end up shouting.

This is a first go at an intentional model:
C: I’ve got all the resources I need
F: Equipped
A: Take small moments to regulate and care for myself each day; take time to self-coach; notice and process emotions on the go
R: I use the resources available to me?

I’d love some coaching on this. I think I might also need an intentional model focused on feeling loving (including towards myself) so I’m going to look at that as well.

 

 

Answer:

As you build an intentional model for the weekend take all of your circumstances into account. Instead of coming from a place of “I should be able to handle this all perfectly and at the same level as usual.” allow yourself to be the kind of parent you want to be with what’s in front of you. Prioritize what’s most important. Put your well being on that list. You can put not shouting, birthday parties, housework and lessons on there as you want. Or not at all. You can love yourself just the same. Your value won’t change no matter how you show up. How can this weekend be fun? An amazing coach called Jody Moore has a shirt that says “world’s okayest mom.” What if your goal was to have the world’s okayest weekend?

Notice your brain offering you thoughts about your ability to handle this. Don’t listen to it. You’ve totally got this. What assets do you have inside of you that will make sure you do? Don’t be shy. Make a list.  See what comes up and bring back any coaching or questions.